Cesiley Bartley smiles with her toddler daughter in the narthex of St. Stephen Cathedral during Ash Wednesday Mass on March 29, 2024. RACHEL HALL | WKC
Sharing faith with adult children, and staying involved without being a ‘helicopter parent’
BY DANNY MAY, OFFICE OF MARRIAGE & FAMILY LIFE
Welcome to the inaugural article for Building a Family of Faith: Q & A, which is a new monthly column in The Western Kentucky Catholic. This is a collaborative effort among the Offices of Youth & Young Adult Ministry, Marriage & Family Life, and Communications. This column coincides with the release of the Diocese of Owensboro’s “Building a Family of Faith” podcast, produced as a convenient and accessible continuation of the in-person workshops offered around the diocese earlier this year.
Each month, we’ll be addressing questions asked by parents and listeners of the podcast. If you’ve got a question you’d like answered, please email [email protected].
Now, for our first questions and responses:
How do parents effectively share faith with adult children?
Adult children still need us. They need our insight, life experience, and perspective. As parents of adult children, our focus shifts from teaching faith to witnessing faith. One parent shared how crucial it is to never stop inviting our adult children into faith conversations by consistently and authentically modeling your own faith to them. The key is authenticity, meaning moments where faith comes up naturally in conversation or in everyday circumstances, which come across less pushy and pressured.
For example, sharing your own insights about what you’re learning or struggles you might be having. Tell your story. Ask questions about their faith and let them answer and resist the impulse to lecture. Keep family faith traditions and holiday traditions alive, but invite. Don’t force.
Staying present, rather than overbearing or intrusive, helps keep communication lines open with our adult children so they feel comfortable reaching out when they do need help or have questions. They’ll remember what you taught them. Now they’re likely watching to see if you believe it and still live it. That’s the power of witness.
How do we stay involved in our middle school/high school kids’ lives without being a “helicopter” parent?
As our children age, it’s difficult to mentally shift from managing their lives (which is our nature) to guiding them as they grow (which takes some letting go).
Several helpful tips were shared by other parents at the Building a Family of Faith workshops: have a weekly “family meeting” to go over calendars for the week; one-on-one time with each kid allows for deeper conversation and can become rituals of connection; show interest in them – who they are and what they like, etc. – more than just their performance (grade, sports, accomplishments); always take their questions and feelings seriously and respond truthfully so they’ll keep coming to you with questions or concerns (you want to be a safe place for hard conversations); gradually give them privacy and independence as they mature, but also the assurance you’re close by if needed.
In summary: be present, be curious, be available.
For more parent-to-parent conversation like this, along with faith-sharing tips and plenty of laughs, check out “Building a Family of Faith” podcast hosted by Rachel Hall, Charlie Hardesty, Susy Solorza, and Danny May. Available now wherever you get your podcasts. And don’t miss the Building a Family of Faith resources page at owensborodiocese.org/building-a-family-of-faith.
Originally printed in the October 2026 issue of The Western Kentucky Catholic.
