A statue of Our Lady of Sorrows is seen in the chapel of the secluded St. Joseph Monastery, home to a community of Passionist nuns in Whitesville. The monastery hosts Rachel’s Vineyard retreats for healing the effects of abortion and related traumas. ELIZABETH WONG BARNSTEAD | WKC
Pilgrims of Hope: God’s Grace and the Gift of Forgiveness
Editor’s note: In celebration of the Jubilee of Hope, The Western Kentucky Catholic has launched Pilgrims of Hope, a yearlong blog series inspired by Pope Francis’ Bull of Indiction of the Ordinary Jubilee of the Year 2025: “My thoughts turn to all those pilgrims of hope who will travel to Rome in order to experience the Holy Year and to all those others who, though unable to visit the City of the Apostles Peter and Paul, will celebrate it in their local Churches.” Blog reflections will be written by individuals from across the Diocese of Owensboro, sharing their unique perspectives on the virtue of hope in a world that so greatly needs it.
BY “PATTY”
To say that I had lost hope doesn’t even scratch the surface.
I had strayed so far from God that I felt like I could never make my way back. Why would He want me? I was broken and damaged beyond repair, or so I thought. I had done something inexcusable, so many years ago. It was so long ago that I felt like He would not forgive my sin. I had always heard of God’s grace but how could I ask for forgiveness for something so ugly? I had waited so long to face the ugliness, making all kinds of excuses for why I could not face it. Forty years of pain and shame washed over me every morning when I woke up and every evening when I went to sleep. It was a tremendous weight to bear, and my body and soul were tired of carrying it.
I had heard of Rachel’s Vineyard once or twice and their work to heal the wounds of abortion. My husband wanted to help me so badly that he called the first time to a wonderful woman that was there to answer our questions. I felt even more like a coward as he called them on my behalf. What a gift it was to talk to someone that knew of what I had done so many years ago. A glimmer of hope filled me, but I could not yet be convinced that they could help.
So I signed up for a retreat and hoped I could have the courage to attend and participate. And I did, reluctantly, go to a retreat about two years ago. Compassionate and loving volunteers were there to greet me as I almost changed my mind about the weekend. Waves of forgiveness poured over all of us as we each told our individual stories and listened to the word of God that weekend. It brought me closer to God than I had been in years. I am quite sure that we all had our hope restored that weekend, through activities designed to uncover the shame and open our hearts to the love of God and His grace. He forgave me. I pray for His grace for the gift of forgiveness, so that I may be able to forgive myself.
If He forgives me, I can forgive myself.
“Patty,” who requested to remain anonymous, attended a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat several years ago. Rachel’s Vineyard retreats are confidential and help participants encounter the healing love and mercy of Jesus, and are open to both women and men who have experienced grief and/or trauma from abortion and other related losses. The next retreat within the Diocese of Owensboro will take place Sept. 5-7, 2025. Learn more or register at https://hopeafterabortionky.com or call the confidential Rachel’s Vineyard phone line at (270) 474-4707.
To learn more about the Diocese of Owensboro’s celebration of the Jubilee Year of Hope 2025 visit https://owensborodiocese.org/jubilee-year-pilgrims-of-hope/.
